small jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes and humor' started by xfilos, Oct 27, 2008.

  1. xfilos

    xfilos New Member

    1. A FOOLISH man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

    2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
    Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
    After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
    3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
    1. Tele-Phone
    2. Tele-Vision
    3. Tell to Woman
    Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

    4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

    5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
    Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
    Moral : BE SPECIFIC

    6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
    It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.

    7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
    They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
    Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
    Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

    8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
    If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

    9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
    Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

    10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
    Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

    11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
    Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

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