Husband and Wife Understanding

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Preeti_20, Nov 27, 2008.

  1. Preeti_20

    Preeti_20 Active Member

    What I am going to write about husband and wife discussions is something which I have seen myself happen and heard from a few of my married friends, its nothing against men or women just examples and the way things are in a husband and wife relationship, which may help both a wife and husband to understand each other better.

    In a husband and wife relationship the wife trying or wanting to discuss something with the husband can be a difficult thing to do, and there are many reasons for this. Majority of the time the husband thinks that whatever the wife wants to discuss is a waste of time and full of nonsense, sometimes the husband is doing something too busy and doesn’t have time, other times the husband is not in the mood to talk. But when the husband wants to talk to the wife about something it should be all ear wide open and full attention no matter what she is doing, this whole situation makes the wife feel like someone with out any feelings, and that she is there for her husbands problems to be listened to and to take any crap the husband has been to throughout the day. The least a husband can do is be nice to his wife, I mean why take the days anger or stress out on the wife, when she is the one who cares about the husband the most and after leaving her family and friends she is living with you!
    To help this situation there are some wives who charge at the husband everyday with problems between her and her in laws, instead of saying everything to him as soon as he comes from work, let him relax have his dinner and talk at night. Spending time together is very important, it gives both husband and wife to talk their feelings, problems and anything else, at night before going to sleep is a very good idea, as there are no disturbances and both husband and wife are free of their household things and work.

    Another problem which arises in a husband and wife relationship is the male ego, and this is a very common thing, and a majority of men show this even to their wives, whether little or big they still show it, and this is something which affects the relationship in a major way. Believe it or not it affects the love between the two, creates misunderstandings and makes the wife and husband feel distant at times. When the male ego comes in between a husband and wife it makes the wife feel very low, makes her self esteem low and she loses confidence at times too. So men if you want to show your male ego try not to with the wife, although some people have seen their fathers that way so they kind of inherit that habit or think its right to be like that, but its not!

    Every couple has a fight that doesn’t? If there are couples who don’t fight at all I wouldn’t call them normal! But when a husband and wife have a fight just remember that the fight is between them, husbands should not involve his parents and the wife should not involve her parents, unless the problem is something very major and it will end the relationship. Men should not raise their voices to their wives and show their strength, as in some cases when the husband raises his voice, the wife cant take it so she does, that aggravates the husband and he gets even more annoyed as the wife has risen her voice which the husband doesn’t like, but husbands try being equal to your wives, wives have as much right as men do.
    A common problem in fights in a husband wife relationship is that the husband always taunts the wife about her parents, which is very bad, no matter how bad ones parents are their children love them as they are parents and more over it makes the wife feel as if she isn’t in the family and is an outsider. No one likes anyone talking bad about their parents no matter who it is!

    Remember be equal and treat each other with respect and love, because at the end of your life its only going to be a husband who is for the wife and a wife who is for the husband!
  2. Punch Farce

    Punch Farce New Member

    seems sort of one sided to me ;-) mostly husband bashing I see.
    and if I may make an onservation, this is a recurring theme in your
    relationship posts. what's the reason?

    -F
  3. Archer

    Archer New Member

    Ditto. I was thinking the same thing.
  4. Punch Farce

    Punch Farce New Member

  5. Preeti_20

    Preeti_20 Active Member

    Its not reoccurring, there are different sides to a relationship, and this is based on arguments and understanding. It was a recent thing that a friend told me, and i had a lot to write on it so I did!
  6. SmoothVibes

    SmoothVibes Super Moderator Staff Member

    i agree that it sounds like male bashing but don't you think farce that whatever she said is true to some extend and people do this in our society.
    I am not married :no: so don't have proper or practical knowledge about this relation :)

    -A
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2008
  7. Preeti_20

    Preeti_20 Active Member

    Its not entirely one sided, i have mentioned something about women too!

    I think smoothvibes is currently the only one is is admitting to something which is true, where as others are not.

    I'm not saying any of you guys are like that, but there is a majority, i dont know if any of you guys have married friends or not or if you have any of them are girls, if you have friends as in girls then you would know, if not then its difficult to know a lot about the matter.

    I'm not bashing the male, I've got nothing against males, as i have male friends! And i have no reason to make up things, whether you like it or not i don't know, but its something which many women go through, and being a women i can point this out!
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2008
  8. Punch Farce

    Punch Farce New Member

    you are right. these things happen. but this is not the only thing that
    happens. to have a balanced view we should provide both scenarios
    especially in the light of the heading 'Husband and Wife understanding'

    -F


    Preeti, I never said what you said was untrue. Like they say in courts there
    is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I think you got 1 and
    3 but not 2.

    let me give you some anecdotal evidence. I think I know about
    30 or 40 married couples, who are friends, siblings, cousins, relatives.
    of those I can say about 3-4 husbands are like what you describe and
    there are about 4-5 of the wives who are like that too.

    -F
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2008
  9. Admin

    Admin Administrator Staff Member

    Preeti whatever you said here is all a woman's perspective and you heard from your friends who were all probbably females... The problem is that females are genrally a lot more attention seekers as compared to males and if you keep trying to get attention from your husband there will be a point when the guy is gonna ask you to talk to the hand and then people like you come here and moan about guys being unattentive towards your bullshit.

    :)
  10. Preeti_20

    Preeti_20 Active Member

    Excuse me but I didn't say it happened to me, as im not even married!

    So why is it that when a guy wants to talk he wants full attention, and a total standstill, and then if the women hasn't heard him, he moans saying that she doesn't listen and talk to him!

    Are you saying that a wife can also say to her husband talk to the hand when the same situation arises!

    Im not being one sided, and i know there are a lot of women who throw their weight around in a married relationship, but non of my male friends have every complained about this to me, so therefore i can not say anything in particular, but i do agree that their are women who make a man's life hectic and full of problems. But in some cases a women wants to show she cares and the husband takes it the other way round.

    For example a friend of mine really cares for her husband more than anyone else in the world, but her husband just complains that she doesn't care for him or love him! I mean what should she do then?????

    Why do you men take it personally?
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2008
  11. Admin

    Admin Administrator Staff Member

    You havent had any firsthand experience about what you said and you got this information from friends who are married.... I dont know if you have an idea that most women moan about their husbands infront of their female friends... its a female thing and I guess your friends are no different from other females.

    Hence proved... its all bullshit.
  12. Preeti_20

    Preeti_20 Active Member

    Not all women talk about their husbands, yes they do talk but they don't complain. What women talk about men take it as complaining and thats where understanding is needed, and as far as i know some men also complain about their wives, you cant not deny that now!

    And when someone says bullshit it normally means that whatever is said or done its a lie, which it isn't in this case, unless you have a different meaning of bullshit!
  13. padnar

    padnar New Member

    My husband is both caring and an MCP Say about 70%caring and the other 30MCP. This is my personal experience and I am amiddle aged lady with two grown up sons . I always tell that I am missing not to have a daughter.
    padma
  14. Preeti_20

    Preeti_20 Active Member

    Whats MCP?
  15. itsmemad

    itsmemad Alligator

    Microsoft Certified Professional. :D

    I've a feeling that this thread can win... ;)

    I just recalled... Few of my cousin bros got this compliment from my cousin sis... :D

    MCP--->> Male Chauvinist Pig... :lol:

    And I must admit few men are like that... I've around 8 cousin brothers... And 3 of them already got this compliment... all are unmarried... wonder what will happen to their wives... :(
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2008
  16. Preeti_20

    Preeti_20 Active Member

    may god grant your wish!

    Again i got to point this out to people, im not say all men are the same but there is a majority who do not understand their wives and not all women are the same but there is a majority who don't understand their relationship with their spouse!

    I have given examples from a female friend, im sure if i got a response or example from a male friend i would have given it to you!

    I don't understand why some people on the forum take me wrong and think im sexist, when im not!
  17. Punch Farce

    Punch Farce New Member

    Therein lies the problem. It is more likely that a woman talks to another
    woman about her husband being dominating than a husband talking to
    another woman about his wife being dominating.

    All I am saying is your perspective is one sided and there is
    an equal if not more things happening in the other direction
    that you are not aware of.

    I am not implying any ulterior motives to you nor am I claiming
    you are sexist, just that you need to accept the fact that it is
    not just the husbands who can be jerks.

    -F

    p.s try talking to your friend's husband and tell us what he told you.
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2008
  18. Preeti_20

    Preeti_20 Active Member

    When i said that its not just the wives who talk to their friends, i was referring to when husbands talk to their friends about how there wives are, and how they are behaving with mood swings, and that is something common!

    True to some extent what i have posted is one sided but its from a friends marriage who has been married for 6 years, it may be that both my friends have married the wrong people or they have a understanding problem!

    But like i said i cant vouch for men or what they think about their wives or what complaints they have, as im not a man, i will only write what i know not what i think may be right!

    Third time im saying this its not all your guys but a majority, so dont take it personally anyone! Its mostly a common problem with a husband and wife relationship with the man problem, according to some survey and in the news I can not remember where i saw it, as it was a random ad survey shown on the net some time ago! In a way its the way people in India get treated and society which affects these issues as well as from previous times its been the man who is the boss, many things have changed now, but some things in some people carry on, hope you understand what i am saying!
  19. Evander Leopold

    Evander Leopold New Member

    hehe he he :lol::lol::lol: .....oh ,cant stop laughing...... quote of the day :lol:
    bravo terminator....:D
  20. Preeti_20

    Preeti_20 Active Member

    Maybe the wife should giving the husband attention, then see what happens, and i know the answer to this too!

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